Saturday, April 09, 2005

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 4) - 4x06 "The Girl With the Deliciously Tacky Dance"

To make up for a lack of ANTM posts:

4x01 - "The Girl Who is a Lady Kat. Reow!"
So many sob stories.
Brittany is annoying.

4x05 - "The Girl Who is Contagious"
They're young and stupid, of course they're going to overreact. But Tiffany's grandmother is my new hero for the show.

Anyway. To try to artificially inflate my readership, I'm going to bite off of the 24 Power Rankings and start my own...

TOP MODEL TOPNESS RANKINGS (Except I can't be bothered to be funny -- I mean I'll try, but it's almost surely going to fall flat)

  1. Naima Every season, there have been girls whom you knew were guaranteed a spot in the final three. Naima's too cute, photogenic and bubbly cute personality to get eliminated any time before that.
  2. Keenyah She's the other one final-three bound. I'll eat Naima's hair if she doesn't. Never you mind she was among the last girls to go onto the next round, she's too statuesque and poised to stay in the losers half.
  3. Kahlen Homebody getting sexy! The judges love bringing the sexiness out of reserved girls, i.e. the reclamation project, especially now with Lluvy out of the running. (Prior such projects include THE ELYSE, Shandi and the disastrous Ann.)
  4. Christina She's got an otherworldly look, and by otherworldly I mean she's an alien. Probably a Vulcan. Her face is going to take her fairly far, but she won't have anything else to offer.
  5. Brittany The judges prove themselves a tasteless bunch by actually liking her "personality," but since the girl's alcoholic, her act is going to aggravate them eventually.
  6. Tatiana Boring cute girl!
  7. Tiffany Her build is too lanky and it's beginning to seem like she's in over her head. Then again, she has matured a lot from last season, and so she has the potential for more growth, especially since she's shown the ability to "hit" her shots.
  8. Rebecca The "safe" label rears its comely head again.
  9. Michelle I don't know why Tyra's so fascinated with Pizzaface. Her alleged personality? The lass is self-alienating and stresses herself out because of it. She is simply too unfeminine to be a successful reclamation project.

Indie rating: Dälek - "Spiritual Healing"

1 comment:

Barry said...

I basically agree with all of this, except I'd switch Keenyah and Christina. Keenyah is sort of like Amanda from last season -- she's quiet, never has a bad day, draws consistent praise from the judges (some of it glowing). Then it gets down to the final four or five and you suddenly realize, "wait, who is this girl, she just doesn't excite me in any way".