Even though the racing has been inept (the Goths) with deplorable frequency (GOTHS), I find myself anxiously awaiting each episode. My best guess is that my familiarity with the racers is a big factor -- that I just enjoy seeing some of my old favorites like the Globetrotters -- but also that we haven't seen much in the way of whining and complaining. (Though, again, the Goths.) I'd hesitate to say the returning teams represent the cream of the crop, but then again, something like half of the remaining teams came in at least in fourth place.
Ok, I admit it, I really just like this season for the Globetrotters' pick-up game with the other teams this episode.
I almost wonder if Gary and Mallory decided to use their Express Pass when they heard that the dinosaur Roadblock was described as being a challenge 68 million years in the making. "OH MAH GAWD!! There were no dinosawrs in the Bible!" kind of thing. (I kid, of course.) (Sort of.)
Showing posts with label Amazing Race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Amazing Race. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Amazing Race: Unfinished Business - 18x01 "Head Down and Hold On"
I don't know who was clamoring for another All-Stars edition of TAR, but here we are, and I'm not going to complain too much. OK, I actually, I will: no Beauty Queens (think this is the fastest I've ever brought up the BQs in an edition of TAR where they're not participating), or, considering the conceit of this season, no Lena and Kristy. But neither of them were apparently eligible, since both teams took part in the race prior to the first All-Stars edition. But of eligible teams from recent installments, I would've liked to see Brook back again, if only because having only Mallory spazzing out wasn't enough boundless energy last night. (And I know that Claire was busy at the time, giving birth and all, but still! I want my hyper-manic QVC fix!)
But enough of the teams who aren't racing -- the assemblage of teams who are on this edition is fairly nice. The most puzzling inclusion are Amanda and Kris, whom I barely recall from their season; actually, the first thing I thought when I saw Amanda was that was from Team Mojo from TAR 9. And actually, five teams from season 14?
OK, enough about which teams are and aren't here. My (next) biggest complaint about last night's show was that about half of the teams didn't actually finish the challenge (and by episode's end, Jet and Cord still hadn't finished it) (and I'm one of those malicious freaks who wouldn't mind seeing them eliminated sooner or later). The first time it happened (when Zev and Justin straight up told the Globetrotters the secret phrase), I managed to rationalize it away after some initial bemusement; Justin and Zev called the 'Trotters bros, and Zev was actually wearing a Globetrotters tee for part of this first leg, so they're tight. OK. But then, Ron/Christina and Mike/Mel let a whole passel of teams get a free ride. Like, for seriously? I think we're seeing the downside to the TAR culture/fraternity, where teams have gotten the chance to socialize with one another beyond the confines of the show, and are less interested in providing cutthroat entertainment in favor of being nice to one another, which goes against every fiber of reality tv.
Other notes: I'm a little surprised that Kent/Kynt and Vyxsin look almost exactly the same as before, but hey, if they've found a look that works, more power. (I was a little distressed to see their foundation running so much in the middle of the leg.) Having heard about the personal stuff that Kent had just been going through, they looked miserable more often than not during the show, so I sincerely hope they get to have some real fun this season (and I'm sure that the Goths got a huge kick out of repeating a secret phrase that mentions the devil, so more stuff like that please).
Out of the season 14 posse, my favorite team is easily Mike and Mel. Unfortunately, Mike showed signs of physically struggling -- he looked exhausted just making it onto the ferry, I think. Of the other 14ers, Jaime remarkably kept herself in check, though I'm holding off judgment till she doesn't bite the head off a local who has the nerve not to speak English.
But enough of the teams who aren't racing -- the assemblage of teams who are on this edition is fairly nice. The most puzzling inclusion are Amanda and Kris, whom I barely recall from their season; actually, the first thing I thought when I saw Amanda was that was from Team Mojo from TAR 9. And actually, five teams from season 14?
OK, enough about which teams are and aren't here. My (next) biggest complaint about last night's show was that about half of the teams didn't actually finish the challenge (and by episode's end, Jet and Cord still hadn't finished it) (and I'm one of those malicious freaks who wouldn't mind seeing them eliminated sooner or later). The first time it happened (when Zev and Justin straight up told the Globetrotters the secret phrase), I managed to rationalize it away after some initial bemusement; Justin and Zev called the 'Trotters bros, and Zev was actually wearing a Globetrotters tee for part of this first leg, so they're tight. OK. But then, Ron/Christina and Mike/Mel let a whole passel of teams get a free ride. Like, for seriously? I think we're seeing the downside to the TAR culture/fraternity, where teams have gotten the chance to socialize with one another beyond the confines of the show, and are less interested in providing cutthroat entertainment in favor of being nice to one another, which goes against every fiber of reality tv.
Other notes: I'm a little surprised that Kent/Kynt and Vyxsin look almost exactly the same as before, but hey, if they've found a look that works, more power. (I was a little distressed to see their foundation running so much in the middle of the leg.) Having heard about the personal stuff that Kent had just been going through, they looked miserable more often than not during the show, so I sincerely hope they get to have some real fun this season (and I'm sure that the Goths got a huge kick out of repeating a secret phrase that mentions the devil, so more stuff like that please).
Out of the season 14 posse, my favorite team is easily Mike and Mel. Unfortunately, Mike showed signs of physically struggling -- he looked exhausted just making it onto the ferry, I think. Of the other 14ers, Jaime remarkably kept herself in check, though I'm holding off judgment till she doesn't bite the head off a local who has the nerve not to speak English.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
The Amazing Race - 17x11 "I'm Surrounded by Ninjas"
- Raddest thing this leg were the soldiers and their prodigious abilities of breaking things with their feet. Like, dude did a flash kick!
Dude!
- Curious bit of editing sleight of hand. Here, Brook matches the headband with her soldier...
... runs with her soldier to get the clue...
... and here is the soldier who actually breaks the board:
Like I said: curious.
- I wasn't terribly happy to see the Passive-Aggressive-Fest Brook and Claire were having as they tried to decide which Detour to take, which unfortunately has been characteristic of their last handful of legs. Neither of them acquitted themselves well, but I wouldn't go so far as to say they're suffering from a severe bout of Killer Fatigue (i.e. we've seen teams -- from this season, no less! -- melt down far worse than the tiffs between Brook and Claire). Not since their brouhahas are confined to the discrete points during the race, and any ill-will doesn't spill over into other parts of the race.
- Passive-aggressive or not, Brook is seriously a cartoon character and I will love her forever.
Go Brook and Claire! Go Nat and Kat!
Sunday, December 05, 2010
The Amazing Race - 17x10 "I Hate Chinese Food"
After years and years of intensely watching reality programs, I'm pretty certain that the one thing that makes or breaks a season is not the exotic locales, it's not the twists and challenges thrown at the contestants, or any other idea cooked up by the show's producers. Instead, the most reliable thing that determines the quality of any given season of a reality program is the cast. If a season features a memorable contestant, whether a villain or a hero, then that season goes a long way to cementing its place as a classic.
Obviously, getting great contestants is easier said than done. Would-be villains are little more than creeps who see the show as their chance to indulge in sociopathy; similarly, would-be heroes usually come off as sanctimonious, self-styled martyrs. Really, reality programs are littered with terrible, annoying contestants, as finding one indelibly wonderful contestant is a rarity. Think about the exponentially dwindling odds, then, of a show like TAR finding two great contestants, and then putting them on the same team, and you'll understand why I've been thinking about giving up on the show for the past couple seasons now. (Quick aside, or, considering the show I'm talking about, quick Detour ha ha ha: since I started watching TAR in its fourth season, I really only count about 3 teams as enduring favorites: Chip and Kim, Al and Jon AKA the Clowns, and the Beauty Queens.)
Defying all odds, then, this season of TAR has had an embarrassment of riches, and not just because of the Pitstop Hottie greeting the racers as they reached the mat in Hong Kong.
(I don't have Asian fonts installed on my computer, so I had to make do with old-school calligraphy.)
By "embarrassment of riches," I mean contestant-wise (both people we can root for and jeer at), and thus this season ranks as one of the best in recent memory. (To digress from my "Only Contestants Matter" thesis, this year is also one of the few times where I, as someone who patently dislikes travel, envied the contestants for one particular challenge: the accordion-playing Detour in Russia. I would've killed to do that.)
Perhaps not coincidentally, season 17 also features two of the most redoubtable, not to mention likable, all-female teams to have been on the show and who are both on the verge of reaching the final leg of the race: Kat and Nat, and Brook and Claire. Kat and Nat are not big personalities, but they have been smart, professional, and immanently competent, and if they win, I would be quite content. However, I would be over the rainbow if Brook and Claire win, because they're no less competent than the Docs, but also... well, find out why after the jump.
Obviously, getting great contestants is easier said than done. Would-be villains are little more than creeps who see the show as their chance to indulge in sociopathy; similarly, would-be heroes usually come off as sanctimonious, self-styled martyrs. Really, reality programs are littered with terrible, annoying contestants, as finding one indelibly wonderful contestant is a rarity. Think about the exponentially dwindling odds, then, of a show like TAR finding two great contestants, and then putting them on the same team, and you'll understand why I've been thinking about giving up on the show for the past couple seasons now. (Quick aside, or, considering the show I'm talking about, quick Detour ha ha ha: since I started watching TAR in its fourth season, I really only count about 3 teams as enduring favorites: Chip and Kim, Al and Jon AKA the Clowns, and the Beauty Queens.)
Defying all odds, then, this season of TAR has had an embarrassment of riches, and not just because of the Pitstop Hottie greeting the racers as they reached the mat in Hong Kong.
(I don't have Asian fonts installed on my computer, so I had to make do with old-school calligraphy.)
By "embarrassment of riches," I mean contestant-wise (both people we can root for and jeer at), and thus this season ranks as one of the best in recent memory. (To digress from my "Only Contestants Matter" thesis, this year is also one of the few times where I, as someone who patently dislikes travel, envied the contestants for one particular challenge: the accordion-playing Detour in Russia. I would've killed to do that.)
Perhaps not coincidentally, season 17 also features two of the most redoubtable, not to mention likable, all-female teams to have been on the show and who are both on the verge of reaching the final leg of the race: Kat and Nat, and Brook and Claire. Kat and Nat are not big personalities, but they have been smart, professional, and immanently competent, and if they win, I would be quite content. However, I would be over the rainbow if Brook and Claire win, because they're no less competent than the Docs, but also... well, find out why after the jump.
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Amazing Race - 17x01 "They Don't Call It The Amazing Race For Nothin!"
Obviously:
I've always had trouble telling apart the same-gender teams. For instance, Dustin and Kandice, better known as the Beauty Queens, were indistinguishable from each other to my eyes for a season and a half -- and they are my favorite team ever. Similarly, the former NFL cheerleaders from two seasons ago -- one of them was a raving ugly American, her partner by contrast was subdued to the point of invisibility, and I still couldn't associate their individual names with their faces.
Strangely, though, with this season, I can't tell any of the heterosexual/dating couples apart. Of course I can tell the guy from the girl, but sorting out one dating couple from another was a huge ordeal for me last night. (OK, Team Ink is standing out for 1. being tatted head to toe, and 2. being breathtakingly dumb.) It surely didn't help that the all the guys were type A's, quick to denigrate their partners. One of them is named Chad, incidentally, which is not far from Choad, which could turn out to be a handy mnemonic device if not for the fact that all these guys are choads.
I wanted to like the Beach Volleyball team, but despite being ladies, they've got all the hallmarks of classic jocks (I soured on them the second they vituperatively described the Gleeks as nerds).
Andi and Jenna -- the biological mom and daughter meeting for something like the third time ever -- is the domestic voyeurism that makes me intensely uncomfortable. Moreover, they're both clearly feeling each out and as a result they've both been quiet and mousy, which weirdly compounds with the inappropriateness of airing their domestic privacy so publicly into very bad tv.
So I'm left rooting for the Doctors.
I'm deeply disappointed that none of Racers, when they were scaling the castle walls, put those filthy peasants in their collective places with their nasty French behavior.
I've always had trouble telling apart the same-gender teams. For instance, Dustin and Kandice, better known as the Beauty Queens, were indistinguishable from each other to my eyes for a season and a half -- and they are my favorite team ever. Similarly, the former NFL cheerleaders from two seasons ago -- one of them was a raving ugly American, her partner by contrast was subdued to the point of invisibility, and I still couldn't associate their individual names with their faces.
Strangely, though, with this season, I can't tell any of the heterosexual/dating couples apart. Of course I can tell the guy from the girl, but sorting out one dating couple from another was a huge ordeal for me last night. (OK, Team Ink is standing out for 1. being tatted head to toe, and 2. being breathtakingly dumb.) It surely didn't help that the all the guys were type A's, quick to denigrate their partners. One of them is named Chad, incidentally, which is not far from Choad, which could turn out to be a handy mnemonic device if not for the fact that all these guys are choads.
I wanted to like the Beach Volleyball team, but despite being ladies, they've got all the hallmarks of classic jocks (I soured on them the second they vituperatively described the Gleeks as nerds).
Andi and Jenna -- the biological mom and daughter meeting for something like the third time ever -- is the domestic voyeurism that makes me intensely uncomfortable. Moreover, they're both clearly feeling each out and as a result they've both been quiet and mousy, which weirdly compounds with the inappropriateness of airing their domestic privacy so publicly into very bad tv.
So I'm left rooting for the Doctors.
I'm deeply disappointed that none of Racers, when they were scaling the castle walls, put those filthy peasants in their collective places with their nasty French behavior.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The Amazing Race - 13x09 "That is Studly"
In honor of one of the final three Amazing Race teams.
Marching memorialized after the jump.
Indie rating: Deluka - "Sleep is Impossible"
Marching memorialized after the jump.
Indie rating: Deluka - "Sleep is Impossible"
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
The Amazing Race - 11x11 "Oh My God, The Teletubbies Go To War"
If I'd come up to you and said that Charla and Mirna would be in the top three, you probably would've snarked, "In what? Comedically bad accents? And even then, that's just Mirna; Charla is a talentless hanger-on of Mirna, which I suppose makes Mirna the 'talented' one." A revelation which would then lead us all to spontaneously die. But here we are with the "All Stars" edition of TAR, with Charla and Mirna, Eric and Danielle, and the Beauty Queens vying for the $1 million prize, a final three that has disappointed hordes of TAR fans because of the enduring lack of grade-A villains or yayhoorah their favorite teams. To which I say: BAH. Get over it.
In a season where professional reality heel Boston Rob (and Amber) was eliminated in the fourth episode, you'd assume that the remainder of the season would lack for villainous drama and that it'd run on the fumes of petty bickering. While Eric and Danielle and Charla and Mirna collectively indeed provided such pettiness, they also offered more than the typical reality melodrama. As Eric and Danielle (well, Eric mostly, Danielle is mostly along for the ride) showed in the China leg, they have demonstrated that they can be serious racers even after being Yielded and tagged with a 30-minute penalty despite being only a one-person team -- Danielle* she once asked Eric, "How are you reading and walking at the same time?" And in the face of adversity and obstacles (AKA Roadblocks), she makes clear that she no longer wants to be in the race. So, yeah: useless -- and one of my official criteria for competent reality villainy is for them to be credible threats to win over the objection of the viewer.
* I should note that for the longest time, I was confused about which season of TAR she represented. Somehow, I mangled the official information -- that she and Eric are the only couple this season who weren't a team on their original TAR run -- into a statement that they were the only couple from completely separate seasons of the show. And Danielle didn't help things out by not wearing her hat from season 9.
The other half of my Two Steps to Memorable Reality Villainy involves being oblivious to your own shortcomings (no pun intended -- well, kinda), and Mirna takes this cake and eat it too. All of Mirna is entertaining solely for the fact that she's so unaware of how rude and inappropriate she is. I spend my TAR-viewings actively trying to not think of Mirna too much -- which is pretty difficult considering her how loudly she proclaims her saintliness while trying to adopt the "appropriate" accent so she can effectively hector a cabbie into going more "rapido por favor," or how she's the only one on her team who's capable of pulling any weight, etc. -- so I won't regale you with examples of what a dud of a harridan she is, but I'm sure that even if you don't watch the show, her martyr-complex and double-faced moralism are so outrageous that you've been able to sense a disturbance in the Force because of them.
Incidentally, because of this second of Two Steps to Memorable Reality Villainy, I never really found Boston Rob (and Amber) to be as contemptible as everyone else made them out to be. Rob always acted consciously if unconscionably, and his winning smirk that said, "Oooh, I'm such a bad boy, Ambuh, come here a minute and spank hahd!" really didn't do much for me because I can't laugh or hate as hard at deliberate heelishiness as I can at oblivious villainy.
As for the Beauty Queens, and the unwarranted hatorade that they get. To be frank: coupled with the fact that season 10 also had a cheerleader team which predictably flamed out by the second episode, I immediately dismissed the BQs as yet another pair of pretty girls who wanted to get their faces onto a reality program. Surely, the BQs were going to bicker with each other over the smallest inconvenience, avoid the most strenuous challenges, rely on their looks to get ahead, and to take for granted the sites and the sights on the race. Aaaaand they didn't do any of that, in the last season or this season, and actually did the exact opposite as the most graceful, gracious, and the team most full of equanimity. , they keep their cool and have never been reduced to bickering with each other (I'm ignoring message board talk that involved the previews for the finale), even after the not-insignificant number of boners that they've pulled (car accidents, getting lost, completely missing a clue, etc.). Second, they have, by most accounts, appreciated the sights and the sites along the race: in Mozambique, Kandice paints the nails of a little girl for free during a Detour that. But then again, they do let slip the occasional four-letter word, like "dang." And while they've upended the usual stereotype of women, the BQs still have issues with a) driving and b) navigation. Women be bad drivers lollers!
(I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt on how they called team Alabama "da sistas" last season, since I barely remember them doing it, and well, Lyn and Karlyn weren't the warmest people to them.) (I'm also going to ignore what the previews is supposed to show in next week's episode.)
I also don't want to get into the pointless and puerile Yield Karma business, though I will say that if it was cheating, it wouldn't be a sanctioned part of the game, and that if you're Yielded, you have every right to act like a 5th grader throwing a hissy and saying that being Yielded is a moral injustice. Also, in my expert TAR opinion, Yielders shouldn't be surprised that the Yieldees react like petulant babies and start pouring the hatorade , and at the very least you want to minimize the enmity by Yielding as late in the race as possible. But, of course, being the Yield Queens, Dustin and Kandice used the Yield twice, thus being bolder than I ever will be.
Well, to speak tangentially about the Yields: Dustin and Kandice have been legitimately hosed by the Intersection twice -- last season, it knocked them out of the game, and this season, it completely ate away a 4-hour lead. Eric and Danielle have been Yielded twice, and the worst thing that happened to them as a result is that they came in third. Then compare how much the BQs complained about the Intersections with how much Eric and Danielle complained about the Yields. Actually, you can't on an algebraic level, because Dustin and Kandice didn't complain, i.e. you can't divide by zero.
Lastly, I'm loving the irony of one of the best examples of an all-woman team busting female stereotypes being a pair of beauty queens.
Indie rating: The Shangri-Las - "Leader of the Pack"
In a season where professional reality heel Boston Rob (and Amber) was eliminated in the fourth episode, you'd assume that the remainder of the season would lack for villainous drama and that it'd run on the fumes of petty bickering. While Eric and Danielle and Charla and Mirna collectively indeed provided such pettiness, they also offered more than the typical reality melodrama. As Eric and Danielle (well, Eric mostly, Danielle is mostly along for the ride) showed in the China leg, they have demonstrated that they can be serious racers even after being Yielded and tagged with a 30-minute penalty despite being only a one-person team -- Danielle* she once asked Eric, "How are you reading and walking at the same time?" And in the face of adversity and obstacles (AKA Roadblocks), she makes clear that she no longer wants to be in the race. So, yeah: useless -- and one of my official criteria for competent reality villainy is for them to be credible threats to win over the objection of the viewer.
* I should note that for the longest time, I was confused about which season of TAR she represented. Somehow, I mangled the official information -- that she and Eric are the only couple this season who weren't a team on their original TAR run -- into a statement that they were the only couple from completely separate seasons of the show. And Danielle didn't help things out by not wearing her hat from season 9.
The other half of my Two Steps to Memorable Reality Villainy involves being oblivious to your own shortcomings (no pun intended -- well, kinda), and Mirna takes this cake and eat it too. All of Mirna is entertaining solely for the fact that she's so unaware of how rude and inappropriate she is. I spend my TAR-viewings actively trying to not think of Mirna too much -- which is pretty difficult considering her how loudly she proclaims her saintliness while trying to adopt the "appropriate" accent so she can effectively hector a cabbie into going more "rapido por favor," or how she's the only one on her team who's capable of pulling any weight, etc. -- so I won't regale you with examples of what a dud of a harridan she is, but I'm sure that even if you don't watch the show, her martyr-complex and double-faced moralism are so outrageous that you've been able to sense a disturbance in the Force because of them.
Incidentally, because of this second of Two Steps to Memorable Reality Villainy, I never really found Boston Rob (and Amber) to be as contemptible as everyone else made them out to be. Rob always acted consciously if unconscionably, and his winning smirk that said, "Oooh, I'm such a bad boy, Ambuh, come here a minute and spank hahd!" really didn't do much for me because I can't laugh or hate as hard at deliberate heelishiness as I can at oblivious villainy.
As for the Beauty Queens, and the unwarranted hatorade that they get. To be frank: coupled with the fact that season 10 also had a cheerleader team which predictably flamed out by the second episode, I immediately dismissed the BQs as yet another pair of pretty girls who wanted to get their faces onto a reality program. Surely, the BQs were going to bicker with each other over the smallest inconvenience, avoid the most strenuous challenges, rely on their looks to get ahead, and to take for granted the sites and the sights on the race. Aaaaand they didn't do any of that, in the last season or this season, and actually did the exact opposite as the most graceful, gracious, and the team most full of equanimity. , they keep their cool and have never been reduced to bickering with each other (I'm ignoring message board talk that involved the previews for the finale), even after the not-insignificant number of boners that they've pulled (car accidents, getting lost, completely missing a clue, etc.). Second, they have, by most accounts, appreciated the sights and the sites along the race: in Mozambique, Kandice paints the nails of a little girl for free during a Detour that. But then again, they do let slip the occasional four-letter word, like "dang." And while they've upended the usual stereotype of women, the BQs still have issues with a) driving and b) navigation. Women be bad drivers lollers!
(I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt on how they called team Alabama "da sistas" last season, since I barely remember them doing it, and well, Lyn and Karlyn weren't the warmest people to them.) (I'm also going to ignore what the previews is supposed to show in next week's episode.)
I also don't want to get into the pointless and puerile Yield Karma business, though I will say that if it was cheating, it wouldn't be a sanctioned part of the game, and that if you're Yielded, you have every right to act like a 5th grader throwing a hissy and saying that being Yielded is a moral injustice. Also, in my expert TAR opinion, Yielders shouldn't be surprised that the Yieldees react like petulant babies and start pouring the hatorade , and at the very least you want to minimize the enmity by Yielding as late in the race as possible. But, of course, being the Yield Queens, Dustin and Kandice used the Yield twice, thus being bolder than I ever will be.
Well, to speak tangentially about the Yields: Dustin and Kandice have been legitimately hosed by the Intersection twice -- last season, it knocked them out of the game, and this season, it completely ate away a 4-hour lead. Eric and Danielle have been Yielded twice, and the worst thing that happened to them as a result is that they came in third. Then compare how much the BQs complained about the Intersections with how much Eric and Danielle complained about the Yields. Actually, you can't on an algebraic level, because Dustin and Kandice didn't complain, i.e. you can't divide by zero.
Lastly, I'm loving the irony of one of the best examples of an all-woman team busting female stereotypes being a pair of beauty queens.
Indie rating: The Shangri-Las - "Leader of the Pack"
Monday, January 01, 2007
Ten Hours from 2006
I'm a bit surprised that I've taken so long coming up with a Top 10 TV shows, especially because 2006 was a fairly strong year in terms of reality TV plus Veronica Mars (haters can shut it), and that I'm as obsessed with TV as ever. Compare TV to my music geekness, which has abated considerably, though nonetheless I've decided on a moderately stable list of 10 albums:
Special mention goes out to Electrelane's Singles, B-Sides & Live collection.
Anyway, back on the TV front. To cut some suspense, stuff that is totally up my alley -- Justice League Unlimited, Teen Titans, and Battlestar Galactica -- aren't on the list because like a failed nerd, I only started watching their first seasons this year -- I have a feeling that once I get completely caught up, a lot of reality tv would get bumped off this list.
So, without thematizing the entire year (which, if you ask me, is an exercise in futility and arrogance), an ascending list of my favorite hours from 2006 with brief-to-briefish commentary:
10. So You Think You Can Dance, Top 10 Dancers (2x16)
The judges were witless annoyances, the reality wasn't narrative-based, and I still don't know a quickstep from a jive, but SYTYCD is the younger, snottier, snappier, and sometimes "edgier" (i.e. including krumping as a style) version of Dancing with the Stars. Clearly, all of the hip-hop styles are on the show to appeal to younger viewers, who would be more familiar with popping-and-locking than fan kicks, but amazingly, the most impressive, sublime moments of the second season of SYTYCD were lyrical, paso doble, and the Cuban rumba, and this episode featured two of these styles. As shallow eye-candy goes, SYTYCD is fluffier (even if the final prize is actual employment for the winner), but as camp as a high-energy disco number, fluffy goes a long way.
9. The Amazing Race, "5 Continents...10 Countries...And More than 59 Thousand Miles!" (9x12)
Wherein smelly hippies flex their brains to beat almost heterosexual fratties!
8. Scrubs, "My Transition" (5x18)
OK, so Scrubs makes the list 9.5 hours. Add "My Urologist" (5x17) if you're into Dr. Acula. Vampires and absurdist high-comedy -- how could I not love this?
7. Friday Night Lights, "Pilot" (1x01)
Friday Night Light perfectly blends the football action with searing melodrama in its first episode. Also: QB1 vs. QB1.
6. Survivor: Cook Islands, "People That You Like Want To See You Suffer" (13x10)
Many reviews point to the preceding "Mutiny" episode (where Candice, and then Jonathan, abandoned the Aitu (Survivorese for "hero") Tribe) as the turning point of Cook Islands, since it turned the most likeable contestants Ozzy and Yul, who to that point were among the likeliest contenders to win the game, into underdogs. At the same time, the other tribe, composed of young white kids (& Nate), dared to treat the solemnity of the Survivor as no more than The Real World: Cook Islands, thus earning the contempt of most viewers. (Insert boring tangent about how the white kids, AKA the face of homogenous America, rejected the Protestant Work Ethic, which the two Koreans, a Mexican, a black woman, and a middle-aged Jew were left to pick up.) In other words, "Mutiny" completely deserves its place in Cook Islands lore, but in all of 2006, I don't think that my schadenfreude got as much of a work out as it did when I saw Candice blub because she was surprised that the tribe she betrayed to make out with her show-boyfriend was angry at her.
5. Project Runway, "Designer's Best Friend" (3x03)
Just about any episode could've made this list (like Kayne's Marilyn Monroe riff), but seeing how Laura interacted with her dog was just too priceless. (Not to mention the first of Angela's many disasters.)
4. Heroes, "Fallout" (1x11)
Lost-lite, but a very candy-coated version that, thus far, doesn't take itself quite as seriously as its progenitor, as summed up by Matt and FBI Girlfriend's telepathic flirting (better known as the awesomest exchange between shippy characters ever).
3. Lost, "Live Together, Die Alone" (2x23)
Even though Lost consistently disappoints and frustrates me, the finale to season 2 rates this high almost because it stands out so much from the rest of that tease of a season, much of which was satisfied with maintaining its insular little world as the series became preoccupied with drawing out its status quo. Without answering existing questions, the show introduced new mysteries that were entirely within the parameters of the status quo, and as a result, many viewers felt like they were strung along. But by the finale, Lindelof, Cuse, et al seized the chance to blow up the insular little world they'd created and show us that, yes, another world existed beyond the Island, a world much larger with a whole different vocabulary to describe its own questions. (Unsurprisingly, this outside world has been a non-factor in season 3.)
2. Veronica Mars, "Not Pictured" (2x22)
Maybe my taste is questionable (obviously it is with all these reality tv shows), but Veronica Mars was no less enjoyable in its second season than it was in its first. (Caveat: I only saw the mythological episodes that UPN reran during the summer hiatus.) The season finale typified everything I love about the show and even added a cherry on top: snappy and "epic" dialogue that culminated with Logan's impassioned and equally epic speech to V, a reveal that was unexpected but not out of leftfield, and a serious and genuine sense of danger during the climax (which is the cherry, if you're still keeping track).
1. America's Next Top Model Cycle 6, "The Girl Who is Going to the Moon" (6x09)
Before this year, I wouldn't have listed a recap episode at all, much less rank it this high, mostly because it's simply a summary of what's happened so far in a show's season. However, I picked a recap episode is because if it would stand in for the whole season, and I otherwise would've listed multiple episodes of Cycle 6. But "The Girl Who is Going to the Moon" also helped me realize two benefits of recap episodes. The first: "deleted" scenes that offered hilarity -- Joanie doing her Furonda impression, Danielle and Joanie rapping in the kitchen, etc. The second: it allows viewers like me, who originally couldn't stand Jade's mentalism, to revisit such classics as, "This is not America's Next Top Best Friend." The difference between the first time I heard her inanity and the second time were was Joanie and Danielle had both been built up into protagonists who could face (or play) off against Jade. As long as Jade was a credible threat to win, and without any frontrunning girls to keep her winning, I couldn't enjoy her Sister Soldier antics; but when Joanie and Danielle became the prohibitive favorites to reach the top two, I could safely dwelve into Jade's analystic mind.
Indie rating: Joanna Newsom - "Emily"
- Boris, Pink
- The Pipettes, We are the Pipettes
- Joanna Newsom, Ys
- Bardo Pond, Ticket Crystals
- Espers, II
- Isis, In the Absence of Truth
- OOIOO, Taiga
- Saint Etienne, Tales From Turnpike House
- Camera Obscura, Let's Get Out of This Country
- Eluvium, When I Live in the Garden and the Sea
Special mention goes out to Electrelane's Singles, B-Sides & Live collection.
Anyway, back on the TV front. To cut some suspense, stuff that is totally up my alley -- Justice League Unlimited, Teen Titans, and Battlestar Galactica -- aren't on the list because like a failed nerd, I only started watching their first seasons this year -- I have a feeling that once I get completely caught up, a lot of reality tv would get bumped off this list.
So, without thematizing the entire year (which, if you ask me, is an exercise in futility and arrogance), an ascending list of my favorite hours from 2006 with brief-to-briefish commentary:
10. So You Think You Can Dance, Top 10 Dancers (2x16)
The judges were witless annoyances, the reality wasn't narrative-based, and I still don't know a quickstep from a jive, but SYTYCD is the younger, snottier, snappier, and sometimes "edgier" (i.e. including krumping as a style) version of Dancing with the Stars. Clearly, all of the hip-hop styles are on the show to appeal to younger viewers, who would be more familiar with popping-and-locking than fan kicks, but amazingly, the most impressive, sublime moments of the second season of SYTYCD were lyrical, paso doble, and the Cuban rumba, and this episode featured two of these styles. As shallow eye-candy goes, SYTYCD is fluffier (even if the final prize is actual employment for the winner), but as camp as a high-energy disco number, fluffy goes a long way.
9. The Amazing Race, "5 Continents...10 Countries...And More than 59 Thousand Miles!" (9x12)
Wherein smelly hippies flex their brains to beat almost heterosexual fratties!
8. Scrubs, "My Transition" (5x18)
OK, so Scrubs makes the list 9.5 hours. Add "My Urologist" (5x17) if you're into Dr. Acula. Vampires and absurdist high-comedy -- how could I not love this?
7. Friday Night Lights, "Pilot" (1x01)
Friday Night Light perfectly blends the football action with searing melodrama in its first episode. Also: QB1 vs. QB1.
6. Survivor: Cook Islands, "People That You Like Want To See You Suffer" (13x10)
Many reviews point to the preceding "Mutiny" episode (where Candice, and then Jonathan, abandoned the Aitu (Survivorese for "hero") Tribe) as the turning point of Cook Islands, since it turned the most likeable contestants Ozzy and Yul, who to that point were among the likeliest contenders to win the game, into underdogs. At the same time, the other tribe, composed of young white kids (& Nate), dared to treat the solemnity of the Survivor as no more than The Real World: Cook Islands, thus earning the contempt of most viewers. (Insert boring tangent about how the white kids, AKA the face of homogenous America, rejected the Protestant Work Ethic, which the two Koreans, a Mexican, a black woman, and a middle-aged Jew were left to pick up.) In other words, "Mutiny" completely deserves its place in Cook Islands lore, but in all of 2006, I don't think that my schadenfreude got as much of a work out as it did when I saw Candice blub because she was surprised that the tribe she betrayed to make out with her show-boyfriend was angry at her.
5. Project Runway, "Designer's Best Friend" (3x03)
Just about any episode could've made this list (like Kayne's Marilyn Monroe riff), but seeing how Laura interacted with her dog was just too priceless. (Not to mention the first of Angela's many disasters.)
4. Heroes, "Fallout" (1x11)
Lost-lite, but a very candy-coated version that, thus far, doesn't take itself quite as seriously as its progenitor, as summed up by Matt and FBI Girlfriend's telepathic flirting (better known as the awesomest exchange between shippy characters ever).
3. Lost, "Live Together, Die Alone" (2x23)
Even though Lost consistently disappoints and frustrates me, the finale to season 2 rates this high almost because it stands out so much from the rest of that tease of a season, much of which was satisfied with maintaining its insular little world as the series became preoccupied with drawing out its status quo. Without answering existing questions, the show introduced new mysteries that were entirely within the parameters of the status quo, and as a result, many viewers felt like they were strung along. But by the finale, Lindelof, Cuse, et al seized the chance to blow up the insular little world they'd created and show us that, yes, another world existed beyond the Island, a world much larger with a whole different vocabulary to describe its own questions. (Unsurprisingly, this outside world has been a non-factor in season 3.)
2. Veronica Mars, "Not Pictured" (2x22)
Maybe my taste is questionable (obviously it is with all these reality tv shows), but Veronica Mars was no less enjoyable in its second season than it was in its first. (Caveat: I only saw the mythological episodes that UPN reran during the summer hiatus.) The season finale typified everything I love about the show and even added a cherry on top: snappy and "epic" dialogue that culminated with Logan's impassioned and equally epic speech to V, a reveal that was unexpected but not out of leftfield, and a serious and genuine sense of danger during the climax (which is the cherry, if you're still keeping track).
1. America's Next Top Model Cycle 6, "The Girl Who is Going to the Moon" (6x09)
Before this year, I wouldn't have listed a recap episode at all, much less rank it this high, mostly because it's simply a summary of what's happened so far in a show's season. However, I picked a recap episode is because if it would stand in for the whole season, and I otherwise would've listed multiple episodes of Cycle 6. But "The Girl Who is Going to the Moon" also helped me realize two benefits of recap episodes. The first: "deleted" scenes that offered hilarity -- Joanie doing her Furonda impression, Danielle and Joanie rapping in the kitchen, etc. The second: it allows viewers like me, who originally couldn't stand Jade's mentalism, to revisit such classics as, "This is not America's Next Top Best Friend." The difference between the first time I heard her inanity and the second time were was Joanie and Danielle had both been built up into protagonists who could face (or play) off against Jade. As long as Jade was a credible threat to win, and without any frontrunning girls to keep her winning, I couldn't enjoy her Sister Soldier antics; but when Joanie and Danielle became the prohibitive favorites to reach the top two, I could safely dwelve into Jade's analystic mind.
Indie rating: Joanna Newsom - "Emily"
Saturday, May 27, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x12 " 5 Continents...10 Countries...And More than 59 Thousand Miles!"
Yay hippies! How cute is Tyler?
And how conscientious?
BJ's not too shabby, either. Check out the rolleyes in response to Ray's "joke"!
The hott Thai girl certainly approves.
While we're on the subject of Ray, how bad is his flow?
Phil is smooth; watch the left side for a woman in a white jacket and how he maintains his focus.
And while Phil is a master of focus, let's not short change Jeremy.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
I'm not the only one who notices, either. Here's Ray and his delightful sobriquet for the Fratties.
"And with a $1 million on the line...
...will Eric/Jeremy be able to keep their consistent focus and take home the prize?"
Butt of course.
Indie rating: Solex - "Have You No Shame, Girl?"
And how conscientious?
BJ's not too shabby, either. Check out the rolleyes in response to Ray's "joke"!
The hott Thai girl certainly approves.
While we're on the subject of Ray, how bad is his flow?
Phil is smooth; watch the left side for a woman in a white jacket and how he maintains his focus.
And while Phil is a master of focus, let's not short change Jeremy.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
I'm not the only one who notices, either. Here's Ray and his delightful sobriquet for the Fratties.
"And with a $1 million on the line...
...will Eric/Jeremy be able to keep their consistent focus and take home the prize?"
Butt of course.
Indie rating: Solex - "Have You No Shame, Girl?"
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x11 "I Think This Monkey Likes Me!"
[Slowly catching up with the actual TAR schedule, part 2.]
The return of volume eating! Just when I thought that TAR had done away with such an awful challenge (Third World country, way more food than usual (Phil called it "a serving"!), Americans puking it up) just makes no sense.
You can say that again, BJ!
Now, for the greatest lame joke ever.
(What makes the joke is the look on Tyler's face that admits exactly how embarrassed he is for making such a weak joke.)
And even though the winner has already been announced, I have to mention that BJ shouted out to Chip from Chip & Kim with his "It's on like Donkey Kong."
Yolanda: cute beyond words.
Even Ray is growing on me. Check his freestyling, and Yolanda's assessment of it.
And the Thai hottie!
Hottie!
Then there's Team Jomo which became world class bags of douche in this episode.
So I wasn't sorry to see them leave the game -- though just as they made their exits, I caught something interesting:
See what Mo is holding in her hand? The pink dangling thing? That's her halter -- does that mean she got topless before she entered the Marble Temple? Because we all know that she doesn't wear a bra.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
Special guest appearance: Jo!
But don't worry, plenty of gay old times with Eric/Jeremy.
First some innocent monkeying around.
Not what I'd think of as traditional marriage garb, but I'm willing to get with the times.
Such assertiveness!
And as they leave one of the challenges...
Actually, here comes two.
Finally, as they rolled into the Pit Stop, they make absolutely no reference to Thai hottie's hottness. Not as into chicks as they would like us to believe?
In any case, Thai hottie isn't amused by their lack of interest.
Indie rating: Solex - "Oh Blimey!"
The return of volume eating! Just when I thought that TAR had done away with such an awful challenge (Third World country, way more food than usual (Phil called it "a serving"!), Americans puking it up) just makes no sense.
You can say that again, BJ!
Now, for the greatest lame joke ever.
(What makes the joke is the look on Tyler's face that admits exactly how embarrassed he is for making such a weak joke.)
And even though the winner has already been announced, I have to mention that BJ shouted out to Chip from Chip & Kim with his "It's on like Donkey Kong."
Yolanda: cute beyond words.
Even Ray is growing on me. Check his freestyling, and Yolanda's assessment of it.
And the Thai hottie!
Hottie!
Then there's Team Jomo which became world class bags of douche in this episode.
So I wasn't sorry to see them leave the game -- though just as they made their exits, I caught something interesting:
See what Mo is holding in her hand? The pink dangling thing? That's her halter -- does that mean she got topless before she entered the Marble Temple? Because we all know that she doesn't wear a bra.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
Special guest appearance: Jo!
But don't worry, plenty of gay old times with Eric/Jeremy.
First some innocent monkeying around.
Not what I'd think of as traditional marriage garb, but I'm willing to get with the times.
Such assertiveness!
And as they leave one of the challenges...
Actually, here comes two.
Finally, as they rolled into the Pit Stop, they make absolutely no reference to Thai hottie's hottness. Not as into chicks as they would like us to believe?
In any case, Thai hottie isn't amused by their lack of interest.
Indie rating: Solex - "Oh Blimey!"
Tuesday, May 16, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x10 "Man, They Should Have Used Their Fake Names"
Apologies for the long delay (as if anyone was actually upset at the delay), but I've been having trouble with VirtualDub, the once handy-dandy program I used to make those nifty video clips of Eric and Jeremy acting homosexually straight.
Anyway, they all went to Darwin, Australia, which Phil explained is named after Charles Darwin. Good thing he told me, saved me the embarrassment of going on about Danny Darwin.
Yolanda has become the most quotable non-Shaggy Racer on the show. As though to make up for Ray's Boring Man routine, she was on fire this episode. "It does take time to understand that, 'Oh, that's the noise he makes when he brushes his teeth.'"
Though on the subject of Ray and how little he talks, perhaps he's too busy primping for the camera to be as chatty as Yolanda.
Then after Ray's tandem parachute jump, she cooed, "Oh, it's so sweet. He's holding you and everything." And his response?
And of course, Ray and Yolanda's coup-de-grace. So if the Hippies don't win this thing, RaYo are my new team.
As for the Hippies, they seemed to get too caught up in their feud with JoMo and lost focus on, you know, not coming in last place. But rather than worry about BJ's inexplicable decision to run down rocks instead of taking the bridge, I'll instead wonder if the producers are pulling serious strings to keep the Hippies on the show.
And lastly before this entry goes to homoerotic innuendo, some JoMo fun.
Ray said the crocs might choke if they eat Mo, since "it's like eating a plastic Barbie doll."
Looks real to me.
JoMo try to bribe an airline ticket guy with a big kiss from Mo.
Ticket guy, who incidentally is Frank Miller, is not having any of that.
Mo pouts.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
More like "Friends... with privileges."
Eric on his and Jeremy's kinky ménage. Um, TMI?
Jeremy encourages Eric during the tandem parachute jump. Probably pissed that Eric is trying to move in on Joseph without him.
Eric/Jeremy talk about their difficulty in finding a cab after canceling the cabs of RaYo and the Hips.
Of course, what most of us didn't know was that Karma is the working name of a strapping Australian lad they met the night before.
Indie rating: Solex - "There's a Solex on the Run"
Anyway, they all went to Darwin, Australia, which Phil explained is named after Charles Darwin. Good thing he told me, saved me the embarrassment of going on about Danny Darwin.
Yolanda has become the most quotable non-Shaggy Racer on the show. As though to make up for Ray's Boring Man routine, she was on fire this episode. "It does take time to understand that, 'Oh, that's the noise he makes when he brushes his teeth.'"
Though on the subject of Ray and how little he talks, perhaps he's too busy primping for the camera to be as chatty as Yolanda.
Then after Ray's tandem parachute jump, she cooed, "Oh, it's so sweet. He's holding you and everything." And his response?
And of course, Ray and Yolanda's coup-de-grace. So if the Hippies don't win this thing, RaYo are my new team.
As for the Hippies, they seemed to get too caught up in their feud with JoMo and lost focus on, you know, not coming in last place. But rather than worry about BJ's inexplicable decision to run down rocks instead of taking the bridge, I'll instead wonder if the producers are pulling serious strings to keep the Hippies on the show.
And lastly before this entry goes to homoerotic innuendo, some JoMo fun.
Ray said the crocs might choke if they eat Mo, since "it's like eating a plastic Barbie doll."
Looks real to me.
JoMo try to bribe an airline ticket guy with a big kiss from Mo.
Ticket guy, who incidentally is Frank Miller, is not having any of that.
Mo pouts.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
More like "Friends... with privileges."
Eric on his and Jeremy's kinky ménage. Um, TMI?
Jeremy encourages Eric during the tandem parachute jump. Probably pissed that Eric is trying to move in on Joseph without him.
Eric/Jeremy talk about their difficulty in finding a cab after canceling the cabs of RaYo and the Hips.
Of course, what most of us didn't know was that Karma is the working name of a strapping Australian lad they met the night before.
Indie rating: Solex - "There's a Solex on the Run"
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x09 "Do You Know How Much Running I Did Today, Phil?"
Yolanda said she was surprised that her arguing with Ray went from "zero to 120 kilometers in no time." Note to self: Arguing in metric always makes you seem refined and worldly.
But beyond the impressive stupidity of JoMo -- who believe they get the "crappiest luck" because they don't read their clues carefully enough -- I'll cut this regular part of this entry short to bring you expanded homoeroticism.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
Competing in The Amazing Race is "like trying to get into a girl's pants. You know, lie, cheat, steal." And part of his lying is that he's hetero.
Note that the captioning left off the scare quotes. "Friends."
Because if I were as exceptionally heterosexual as these guys, I know the first thing that I would do to my buddy/"partner" when I reach a cluebox that's in front of a phallic memorial.
I'd spank him, of course.
Then, when my buddy and I are going to "bunk" in a hostel that we've re-dubbed the Batcave (Oh, the Batcave, that bastion of purely platonic manly men!), I know exactly what to say.
And then, when we've got to change into almost-Speedos to go diving for crabs, I'd definitely let my exhbitionist streak hang out.
Indie rating: Smoosh - "This is not What We've Become"
But beyond the impressive stupidity of JoMo -- who believe they get the "crappiest luck" because they don't read their clues carefully enough -- I'll cut this regular part of this entry short to bring you expanded homoeroticism.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
Competing in The Amazing Race is "like trying to get into a girl's pants. You know, lie, cheat, steal." And part of his lying is that he's hetero.
Note that the captioning left off the scare quotes. "Friends."
Because if I were as exceptionally heterosexual as these guys, I know the first thing that I would do to my buddy/"partner" when I reach a cluebox that's in front of a phallic memorial.
I'd spank him, of course.
Then, when my buddy and I are going to "bunk" in a hostel that we've re-dubbed the Batcave (Oh, the Batcave, that bastion of purely platonic manly men!), I know exactly what to say.
And then, when we've got to change into almost-Speedos to go diving for crabs, I'd definitely let my exhbitionist streak hang out.
Indie rating: Smoosh - "This is not What We've Become"
Sunday, April 23, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x08 "Here Comes the Bedouin!"
It's no surprise that a pair of hippies believe in karma -- but in a karma that actually works? If BJ and Tyler can put that in a bottle, they'd be just the latest hippies to be able to sell out. (Just for the record, more power to them.) By any measure, though, they're a charmed team, probably because they take the time how to say "thank you" in the language of all the countries they've been in, and because they can channel the power of Lake.
As for Everyone Else, seeing Ray and Yolanda bickering amused me for two minutes, then it got dragged out and boring. Nevetherless, Yolanda got to show off her form of Spidey-Sense.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
I needed to be a little creative for this week's SLASH WATCH, and I'm including two moments of heh heh to make up for the lack of homoerotic obviousness.
That's a flashlight, FYI.
What makes this T-shirt more slash-worthy than subtle innuendo is that the back of the shirt reads, "Especially during anal sex."
Indie rating: Solex - "Solex Feels Lucky"
As for Everyone Else, seeing Ray and Yolanda bickering amused me for two minutes, then it got dragged out and boring. Nevetherless, Yolanda got to show off her form of Spidey-Sense.
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
I needed to be a little creative for this week's SLASH WATCH, and I'm including two moments of heh heh to make up for the lack of homoerotic obviousness.
That's a flashlight, FYI.
What makes this T-shirt more slash-worthy than subtle innuendo is that the back of the shirt reads, "Especially during anal sex."
Indie rating: Solex - "Solex Feels Lucky"
Thursday, April 13, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x07 "Herculean Effort for Some Herculean Dudes"
Whoo! Go Bowling Moms Hippies! They are so much the cute!
The final run-up was quite deceptive, of course, showing the 15-minuted-delayed Hippies and intercutting with (the strangely fatalistic) Lake & Michelle, who it seemed were a lot farther behind. And there was also the business of the 15-minute delay for not taking the bus or the metro to the whatever -- weren't Lake & Michelle do the same thing as the Hippies, and therefore subject to the same penalty? But whatever, it was a heart-stopping way to end the episode.
As for Lake & Michelle, while they were briefly a great source of hate, they dropped out of contention very quickly over the past couple of episodes, and as they walked up to the Pit Stop mat, Lake was incredibly calm and gentle with Michelle. This demeanor was of course a huge contrast to every other instance of his behavior during the Race, which could be generously categorized as Apoplectic Bad Loser Syndrome.
Anyway, the Racer's itinerary, going from Rome to Greece, was a nice little touch. (Another update: Mo of JoMo: "This is where thinking began." Thank you, Monica.) Next they should go to Baghdad or Persepolis.
Speaking of Greece, last night's episode made every Greek person seem fluent in English.
So much for my bold claim that the front of the pack would pull away from everyone else. Even though Eric/Jeremy leapfrogged over the others with the Fast Forward -- which is likely to be a strategic mistake -- teams are going to get bunched up again. After all, the Hippies were right on the Slashboys' sculpted buttocks (NSFW), but BJ & Tyler narrowly avoided elimination.
And finally, behold the triumphant return of...
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
"It's more fun if we tease ourselves all day."
An article of note about the Slashboys' (suspect) raging heterosexuality: Double Ds deny doing the dip with dudes.
It should be noted that the TVGuide.com interviewer was a guy. (Nb. I'm making that up.)
Indie rating: Solex - "My B Sides Rock Your World"
The final run-up was quite deceptive, of course, showing the 15-minuted-delayed Hippies and intercutting with (the strangely fatalistic) Lake & Michelle, who it seemed were a lot farther behind. And there was also the business of the 15-minute delay for not taking the bus or the metro to the whatever -- weren't Lake & Michelle do the same thing as the Hippies, and therefore subject to the same penalty? But whatever, it was a heart-stopping way to end the episode.
As for Lake & Michelle, while they were briefly a great source of hate, they dropped out of contention very quickly over the past couple of episodes, and as they walked up to the Pit Stop mat, Lake was incredibly calm and gentle with Michelle. This demeanor was of course a huge contrast to every other instance of his behavior during the Race, which could be generously categorized as Apoplectic Bad Loser Syndrome.
Anyway, the Racer's itinerary, going from Rome to Greece, was a nice little touch. (Another update: Mo of JoMo: "This is where thinking began." Thank you, Monica.) Next they should go to Baghdad or Persepolis.
Speaking of Greece, last night's episode made every Greek person seem fluent in English.
So much for my bold claim that the front of the pack would pull away from everyone else. Even though Eric/Jeremy leapfrogged over the others with the Fast Forward -- which is likely to be a strategic mistake -- teams are going to get bunched up again. After all, the Hippies were right on the Slashboys' sculpted buttocks (NSFW), but BJ & Tyler narrowly avoided elimination.
And finally, behold the triumphant return of...
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
"It's more fun if we tease ourselves all day."
An article of note about the Slashboys' (suspect) raging heterosexuality: Double Ds deny doing the dip with dudes.
TVGuide.com: Are they good kissers?
Both: [Laugh]
Dani: When you find out, let us know!
It should be noted that the TVGuide.com interviewer was a guy. (Nb. I'm making that up.)
Indie rating: Solex - "My B Sides Rock Your World"
Thursday, April 06, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x06 "Sleep Deprivation is Really Starting to Irritate Me"
BJ & Tyler and Eric/Jeremy seem to be so far ahead that even the routine overnight bunch-up isn't enough to get the back of the pack closer than sniffing distance to the frontrunners. It'll be interesting to see if those two teams can keep up their lead -- definitely more interesting than watching the other teams lag behind.
Unfortunately, this week's Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH will have to be skipped because I was staring too hard at Michelle's boob holster.
Indie rating: Glenn Branca - "The Spectacular Commodity"
Update
Those of you disappointed in the lapse of hot Eric/Jeremy homoerotic coverage this week can see still some actual semi-action here. Mildly not-safe-for-work and clearly the result of imbibed spirits.
Unfortunately, this week's Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH will have to be skipped because I was staring too hard at Michelle's boob holster.
Indie rating: Glenn Branca - "The Spectacular Commodity"
Update
Those of you disappointed in the lapse of hot Eric/Jeremy homoerotic coverage this week can see still some actual semi-action here. Mildly not-safe-for-work and clearly the result of imbibed spirits.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x05 "Good Thing I Took That Human Anatomy Class in High School"
"I'm not a nerd, Bart! Nerds are smart."
-Milhouse
1. In case you couldn't already figure, Dave and Lori are not nerds. Geeks at best, but more likley than not, they're dorks. In descending order, a dweeb taxonomy: NERD = SMART; GEEK = SLAVISH FANDOM; DORK = SOCIALLY AWKWARD.)
2. It's easy for me to think back fondly on a reality villain after the season is completed and said villain didn't win. But in the midst of watching the villain in action, I'm absolutely torn. I hate (B)Lake, but dammit if he doesn't bring the compulsive drama and a sense of danger to the show. (Not Jonathan-level danger -- more of a jerk-off threat to win like Colin.)
3. Yay BJ & Tyler! DIGITAL MEDIA CENTER!
4. Mo of team JoMo said that people underestimate her intelligence because she's blond, so Mo decided to play up her ditziness to fool them. But then, either she was also intent on fooling the viewers or she really is smarter than us when she pronounced Palermo as "PAL-er-mo."
5. I'm glad that the "Double Ds" got eliminated, because that brings my new weekly feature that much closer to reality:
The Eric/Jeremy SLASH WATCH
During the final Roadblock challenge, the non-Roadblocker wanted the Roadblocker to look at his Grecian body for reference.
Indie rating: Solex - "Dork at 12 O'Clock"
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
The Amazing Race - 9x04 "It's Not Over Until Phil Sings"
A week late, but I think I'm obliged to say that I'm digging the Hippies. They aggrieved me with what I considered was an overly affected FREAKness in the first episode of this season. Fortunately, in every episode so far they've been delightful and always have surprised me with their amusing goofiness. The example that officially brought me onto the BJ & Tyler bandwagon was asking the fetching German fraulein at the smashy-smashy Detour, "Will you dance with me?" (I just tried to google what he said in German, which landed me onto what looked like an American Idol fanfic. I did not scrutinize the fic to see if it was slash.)
Meanwhile, Eric and Jeremy are so oversexed that they're giving off homoerotic vibes.
Indie rating: Solex - "Hot Diggitydog Run Run Run"
Meanwhile, Eric and Jeremy are so oversexed that they're giving off homoerotic vibes.
Indie rating: Solex - "Hot Diggitydog Run Run Run"
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The Amazing Race: Family Edition - An Essay in Method
Actually, I'm not formulating any sort of methodology with this post -- but it sure sounds smart! In truth, I'm going to defend The Amazing Race: Family Edition, which I will do by focusing on something that I still haven't put to bed yet -- reality villains -- and a brief look back at TAR's recent history of villains, from season 5's Colin up to the Weavers.
Ignoring the limited locales of Family Edition, this season features the Weavers, who are one of the more consistent villains that I've seen since I started watching in season 4, unmatched by any other heelish team except for Colin (& Christie as well -- but far from being a heel, she's just along for the ride); the featured villains in the other seasons, if there even was a coherent team of villains over the course of the show, lacked at least one of the two crucial elements that make for a successful reality villain:
I'll admit that "safe" and "containable" are purposely vague words and potentially rife with problematic biases; more specifically, what I mean by these two words is that the villainy remain within the viewer's fundamental sense of decorum. For instance, I tend to regard Colin's verbal abuse of Christie as relatively benign compared to Jonathan's manifest physical abuse of Victoria. (Ray, of Ray & Deana infamy, is the Poor Man's Jonathan and similarly loses out on being a good villain; many observers suspected that Ray smacked Deana, judging by his willingness to throw his physical presence around, steroid-induced rages, and Deana's black eye during a Detour.) In a real, non-television context, verbal abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse, but from the deliberately narrow scope of a TV show, actions speak louder than words. Thus, when Jonathan shoved Victoria, it proved more shocking to viewers than any number of Colin's meltdowns where he berated Christie for, let's say, being stupid.
With the Weavers, their sins, aggravating as they are, remain fundamentally innocuous. They are an insular, ignorant, and hypocritical bunch. Although they have been anointed the unofficial representatives of What's Wrong With American Culture, their faults in the context of the show are mostly limited to their own small world. They may be rude to others, but otherwise the manifestation of their heelishness comes from remarks about the blandness of Utah's otherworldly vistas, or smug martyr-posturing -- so, rather than the actively predatory behavior of Jonathan, Ray, or even Colin, the inert villainy of the Weavers is essentially victimless asshattery. (Why not Boston Rob in this list? It was too hard not to admire his willingness to play sneaky, which was a conscious effort to win the Race instead of oblivious maliciousness.) In fact, the Weavers actually contain their venomous words within the family for the most part, for instance derisively calling the Paolos "the Cleavers" well out of earshot of the other teams.
But rest assured that the Weaver's schtick is unbearable, albeit in an entertaining way. At least for me, their conceited hypocrisy is the Weavers' most maddening quality; while they flaunt their piety to distance themselves from criticism, the Weavers routinely dismiss their competition with puerile insults, and when they are called on these insults, they claim innocence and adopt the role of the victims. And so, to reiterate: the Weavers are a dubious bunch whom I love to hate, but not so heinous that we are irrevocably repulsed.
As for the first ingredient of memorable villains -- viable threats to win/longevity -- it could use some explaining as well. Even though longevity seems self-explanatory, it's hard to identify a season-defining villain before the completion of a season. In other words, a heel who is a legitimate threat to win has to go far into a season, and so for the most part, the viewer can only see who such a villain is retrospectively. The upshot of villains who stay on the show for its duration is that they are granted the opportunity to keep on threatening the chances of the good guys. Eliminate the villain, and the most effective way of building suspense and tension evaporates, and in such a scenario, the main alternative is the much harder task of developing a team for whom the viewer actively cheers.
The infamous shove aside, Jonathan had the appearance of being such a season-defining heel: he and Victoria regularly finished in the top half of the Amazing Racers, and he in particular was detestable. However, he "only" finished in sixth place, whereas Colin & Christie finished second, and the Weavers have now reached the final leg.
All things considered then, the Weavers represent an ideal villain-type, which is the primary reason that I find Family Edition to be such a compelling program. Almost every week, they make a serious bid to win that leg of the race, and every week they say or do something that induces bile.
Indie rating: Colleen - "Everything Lay Still"
Ignoring the limited locales of Family Edition, this season features the Weavers, who are one of the more consistent villains that I've seen since I started watching in season 4, unmatched by any other heelish team except for Colin (& Christie as well -- but far from being a heel, she's just along for the ride); the featured villains in the other seasons, if there even was a coherent team of villains over the course of the show, lacked at least one of the two crucial elements that make for a successful reality villain:
- A viable threat to win the competition. That is, longevity on the show.
- A vileness or moral defect that makes it easy for the viewer to intensely dislike the villain, but most importantly, the defects must be "safe" and "containable."
I'll admit that "safe" and "containable" are purposely vague words and potentially rife with problematic biases; more specifically, what I mean by these two words is that the villainy remain within the viewer's fundamental sense of decorum. For instance, I tend to regard Colin's verbal abuse of Christie as relatively benign compared to Jonathan's manifest physical abuse of Victoria. (Ray, of Ray & Deana infamy, is the Poor Man's Jonathan and similarly loses out on being a good villain; many observers suspected that Ray smacked Deana, judging by his willingness to throw his physical presence around, steroid-induced rages, and Deana's black eye during a Detour.) In a real, non-television context, verbal abuse can be just as harmful as physical abuse, but from the deliberately narrow scope of a TV show, actions speak louder than words. Thus, when Jonathan shoved Victoria, it proved more shocking to viewers than any number of Colin's meltdowns where he berated Christie for, let's say, being stupid.
With the Weavers, their sins, aggravating as they are, remain fundamentally innocuous. They are an insular, ignorant, and hypocritical bunch. Although they have been anointed the unofficial representatives of What's Wrong With American Culture, their faults in the context of the show are mostly limited to their own small world. They may be rude to others, but otherwise the manifestation of their heelishness comes from remarks about the blandness of Utah's otherworldly vistas, or smug martyr-posturing -- so, rather than the actively predatory behavior of Jonathan, Ray, or even Colin, the inert villainy of the Weavers is essentially victimless asshattery. (Why not Boston Rob in this list? It was too hard not to admire his willingness to play sneaky, which was a conscious effort to win the Race instead of oblivious maliciousness.) In fact, the Weavers actually contain their venomous words within the family for the most part, for instance derisively calling the Paolos "the Cleavers" well out of earshot of the other teams.
But rest assured that the Weaver's schtick is unbearable, albeit in an entertaining way. At least for me, their conceited hypocrisy is the Weavers' most maddening quality; while they flaunt their piety to distance themselves from criticism, the Weavers routinely dismiss their competition with puerile insults, and when they are called on these insults, they claim innocence and adopt the role of the victims. And so, to reiterate: the Weavers are a dubious bunch whom I love to hate, but not so heinous that we are irrevocably repulsed.
As for the first ingredient of memorable villains -- viable threats to win/longevity -- it could use some explaining as well. Even though longevity seems self-explanatory, it's hard to identify a season-defining villain before the completion of a season. In other words, a heel who is a legitimate threat to win has to go far into a season, and so for the most part, the viewer can only see who such a villain is retrospectively. The upshot of villains who stay on the show for its duration is that they are granted the opportunity to keep on threatening the chances of the good guys. Eliminate the villain, and the most effective way of building suspense and tension evaporates, and in such a scenario, the main alternative is the much harder task of developing a team for whom the viewer actively cheers.
The infamous shove aside, Jonathan had the appearance of being such a season-defining heel: he and Victoria regularly finished in the top half of the Amazing Racers, and he in particular was detestable. However, he "only" finished in sixth place, whereas Colin & Christie finished second, and the Weavers have now reached the final leg.
All things considered then, the Weavers represent an ideal villain-type, which is the primary reason that I find Family Edition to be such a compelling program. Almost every week, they make a serious bid to win that leg of the race, and every week they say or do something that induces bile.
Indie rating: Colleen - "Everything Lay Still"
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
The Amazing Race - 8x01 "Go Mommy, Go! We Can Beat Them"
Aside from the advance complaints about the producers "dumbing down" the challenges on account of little brats can't handle the pain, one problem that I quickly noticed was that the sheer number of contestants made it difficult for me to keep track of everyone. I'm sure that the producers will resort to broad generalizations to characterize entire families.
Another problem with allowing kids on the program is that TAR now has kids. First, the Black kids. (And yes, Black is the family name.) At the end of the building challenge, the one task given to the younger one, who otherwise was seen goofing off, was to fill a bucket of water. Of course, he fails miserably at this labor and requires his dad to bail him out. But what burned me was that his older bro saw him floundering in the mud but didn't bother to go give him a hand.
And then there's that little Gaghan boy who was beyond annoying. His name's Billy, which is the most generic annoying brat name as proven by science. "Can I hold the flag? I'm very respectful!" I hope that someday he spends time at the Neverland Ranch. His little sister, on the other hand, outclassed him in just about every aspect of the race for my heart. Damn, that sounded creepy, but suffice it to say, she's infinitely cooler than him. Behold:
Beautiful.
Indie rating: Acid Mothers Temple and the Melting Paraiso U.F.O - "Hello Good Child"
Another problem with allowing kids on the program is that TAR now has kids. First, the Black kids. (And yes, Black is the family name.) At the end of the building challenge, the one task given to the younger one, who otherwise was seen goofing off, was to fill a bucket of water. Of course, he fails miserably at this labor and requires his dad to bail him out. But what burned me was that his older bro saw him floundering in the mud but didn't bother to go give him a hand.
And then there's that little Gaghan boy who was beyond annoying. His name's Billy, which is the most generic annoying brat name as proven by science. "Can I hold the flag? I'm very respectful!" I hope that someday he spends time at the Neverland Ranch. His little sister, on the other hand, outclassed him in just about every aspect of the race for my heart. Damn, that sounded creepy, but suffice it to say, she's infinitely cooler than him. Behold:
BRAT: Sorry I didn't contribute.
CARISSA: Get used to it, dork.
Beautiful.
Indie rating: Acid Mothers Temple and the Melting Paraiso U.F.O - "Hello Good Child"
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
The Amazing Race - 7x11 "Five Continents, 25 Cities and More than 40,000 Miles"
Uchenna & Joyce
Since they were a kind of blasé big-hearted couple, they weren't on the same level as the Clowns or Chip & Kim as for as rootability. But given that hardly any teams were absolutely endearing in this season of TAR, Uchenna and Joyce easily became the frontrunners for sympathy. They were absurdly nice throughout the race -- where Rob -- and I suppose I should include Amber for the sake of completeness -- were cutthroat and played every angle that they could as hard as they could (and for that, Rambah "deserved" to win), Uchenna and Joyce ironically went out of their way to help other teams (even if it was a pair of geezers), which I suppose improved their karma. Hey, the head-shaving ceremony was a good fortune ritual, after all. (Haw haw Brandon and Nicole from season 5!)
Rob & Amber
The second time that Rwab's used that "It's ok, I've got Ambuh" line after finishing in second place. Haw!
Ron & Kelly
They deserve each other. I hope they get married so they can bring out the male/female stereotypes in each other.
Gretchen & Meredith
They are old. I don't care about them.
Indie rating: 500mg - "Miserable Miracle"
Since they were a kind of blasé big-hearted couple, they weren't on the same level as the Clowns or Chip & Kim as for as rootability. But given that hardly any teams were absolutely endearing in this season of TAR, Uchenna and Joyce easily became the frontrunners for sympathy. They were absurdly nice throughout the race -- where Rob -- and I suppose I should include Amber for the sake of completeness -- were cutthroat and played every angle that they could as hard as they could (and for that, Rambah "deserved" to win), Uchenna and Joyce ironically went out of their way to help other teams (even if it was a pair of geezers), which I suppose improved their karma. Hey, the head-shaving ceremony was a good fortune ritual, after all. (Haw haw Brandon and Nicole from season 5!)
Rob & Amber
The second time that Rwab's used that "It's ok, I've got Ambuh" line after finishing in second place. Haw!
Ron & Kelly
They deserve each other. I hope they get married so they can bring out the male/female stereotypes in each other.
Gretchen & Meredith
They are old. I don't care about them.
Indie rating: 500mg - "Miserable Miracle"
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