Saturday, August 20, 2005

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 5) - pre-season predictions

The upcoming season, after having seen the preview, looks like it'll be in doubt, ready to challenge Cycle 3 as the worst in the show's history. Most of the girls look unremarkable both in terms of pure looks and of intangibles and upside, baybee.

Scanning through the now-bare bones bios of the girls (at least it's consistent with models in general, haw!), some comments.

Ashley - too waifish, but she likes The Incredibles. She looks boring.
Bre - her favorite movie is Thirteen. But my guess is that that's an easy prestigious yet edgy movie to namedrop.
Cassandra - she allegedly reads Popular Science. Doesn't help that it shares space with Cosmo. And she looks like Michelle from Cycle 4.
Coryn - not much to say except that she almost shares the same name with Corin Tucker.
Diane - she's a criminal defense investigator. I suppose that's interesting.
Ebony - one of her favorite tv shows is Alias, which reveals her bad taste.
Jayla - Hey! Except for the fact that she's a delivery driver, she's got some genuinely edgy faves: Nip/Tuck and Ghost in the Shell. Who am I to criticize her job, though; delivery driver sounds pretty lucrative right now.
Kim - Whoa! She looks like a boy! Hott! And she reads The Economist! It's obvious that Tyra et al are trying to appeal to me with Elyse, mark III over here. Of course, she could be Yaya part 2 -- I want to be excited that she just finished a 180-page thesis on international policy (girl, that's a dissertation!), but there's a trace of the bad sort of elitism with her. Nevertheless, sweater and tie equals SWOON.
Kyle - points for having a boy name, but she has white trash all over here as a Dairy Queen Manager in Missouri. And she watches Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. I bet she doesn't understand irony!
Lisa - my guess is she'll be cut within the first 4 weeks.
Nicole - she says she likes Gilmore Girls, which is funny because she looks a little like Rory.
Nik - even less interesting than Lisa.
Sarah - another Missourian, but she's only a fragrance counter representative. Sarah has unseated Sarah as the preliminary White Trash Queen.

So, between Kim and... well, Kim, there might be hope for this season. However, with Twiggy replacing Janice, the odds of a good cycle look a bit dour.

Indie rating: Ladytron - "Beauty"

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