Tuesday, January 24, 2006

24 - 5x05 "11 A.M. - 12 P.M."


Start 'em
Jack Bauer - Talk about clutch! Like Kief said in Passenger 24, "Always bet on Jack." For most of the episode, his most noteworthy contribution didn't appear in the stat line: when he justly deserved the hellish fury of an Audrey scorned, he actually got pity from her. Not bad, but not exactly what we would expect from someone of Jack's caliber. But when it matters the most? "I'm not CTU." Nuff said.

Chloe O'Brian - At least for this episode, you would have been in great shape if you had both Chloe and Jack. But unless you're in a two-team league and the other owner is your little 9-year old brother who's throwing those useless 2x2 Legos at you because he wants to watch SpongeBob reruns while the FATE OF THE FREE WORLD (and Russia now too, it seems) HANGS IN THE BALANCE, having Jack and Chloe is too much to expect. But where Jack stepped it up late in the game, Chloe started off like gangbusters but fell apart down the stretch (see: her meltdown in "Edmund" Spenser Wolff's interrogation). But if "That's not so much an apology, it's more of an observation" can't help your team, then you're either sitting pretty in first place or the PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA team is wiping its snot on your Lego-encrusted carcass.

Rudy Hobbit - Still large and in charge of CTU. He's doing a bang-up job in relief of Buchanan too. When he had the unenviable task of ordering Audrey to interview Jack's maybe-maybe-not squeeze Diane, McGill showed his leadership and empathy. Time to hop onto the Samwise Express. Of course, being the express, your stop is coming up soon, since Buchanan will sooner or later be looking to reclaim his spot as CTU bossman.

Martha Logan - She's already proven herself to be a high-risk, high-reward pick. Now she's also a high flight risk.

Curtis Manning - A quiet but effective outing. Extra player points for riding outside the SUV in true Superfly style.

Yellow Tie Man - Normally you'd want to stay away from terrorists who haven't been given names, but it looks like the most popular waiver wire pick-up this week is about to see some serious minutes now that Beresch is already out for the season.

Bench 'em
Walt Cummings - Two words: WUH. OH.

Nathanson (formerly the Fat Terrorist Overlord) - So far, the only way he looks good is if his various minions make him look good.

Edgar Stiles - Sure, he got in some choice shots on Spenser, but don't mistake his garbage-time numbers for anything resembling consistent productivity.

Tony Almeida - Not a great week for Soulpatch. Reports of his recovery were greatly exaggerated, which happened to lead to Jack's rib injury. So until he's upgraded from his day-to-day status, he shouldn't see any action in your lineup.

Diane Huxley - She didn't get to exonerate Jack after all -- at least not on-screen. In what's already proven to be a crowded field, she's at best a long-term project.

Waiver Wire
David Palmer - Astonishingly, he's available in 98% of leagues. Some owners apparently think that if Jack could come back from the dead (twice!), then so can the former POTUS.

Spenser Wolff - What could the all-time most ineffective CTU mole possibly offer? He might actually be a useful short-term add in the Paul Raines mold: a useless annoyance at first, but once his allegiances are confirmed with CTU, he goes on to become surprisingly effective before a season-ending, Jack-related death.

Evelyn - Even while her hottness held steady (and maybe even increased last episode), her ineffectiveness kept skyrocketing.

Next column: Noon
Previous column: 7-11 a.m.

Indie rating: Atmosphere - "Trying To Find A Balance"

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