From the Olympic Village

Today I bring a special treat for you all -- guest blogger and philosopher-figure skater Evgeni Plushenko, straight from the Olympic Village.

привет, капиталистических хуесос! That is how we say, "Hello, my Western friends!" in my mother tongue, Russian. I am word-class 3-time Olympian, 3-time World Champion, 6-time European Champion skater Evgeni Plushenko! Now that my event, men's figure skating is completed, I have figured it is appropriate for me to share my thoughts with you on yet another of my triumphant Olympic experiences!

This is a picture of Tanith Belbin:

For a talentless, overweight American, she is uncommonly beautiful, and I find myself thinking much about her, I confess, despite the fact that she is addled-minded and possibly blind. I think about things such as what she would think of real men who do the quad and who are also the first and only sexy winner of Olympic platinum medal. I am just wondering.

Here is a picture of Tessa Virtue next to a picture of Tessa Virtue while she is on the American television show Bones.

If you do not see the resemblance, I must assume you are as blind as lovely Tanith Belbin. I admire Tessa "Bones" Virtue because on her television show she is very very rational and cold of heart, much like our Soviet scientists. Ah, for the old days!

Now do you see? I am not the only one, I am vindicated! Hahahaha.

Finally, I should speak about the figure skating judging of these Olympics. It has been terrible. A tragedy, and it will spell your doom, USA. Now, after these grievances, and without your Governor Palin to stand guard of Alaska, I have sent my good friend Vladimir Putin's head to invade American airspace. Russia has the last laugh. Hahahaha!

Sincerely, with much love,
Evgeni Plushenko

Indie rating: Scion - "Arrange and Process 4"