Monday, April 04, 2011

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 16) - 16x06 "Sonia Dara"

Monique is totally over Top Model.

In the long history of ANTM eyerolls, this one is impressive, with its tracing out of nothing less than INFINITY and everything. If only she had lasted longer, she could've challenged Molly as the Queen of Cycle 16 Eyerolls. And, per Ana, either of them could've signed their glossy pictures -- NO HEARTS, HEARTS ARE LAME -- with their eyerolls.

But really -- autographs? Tyra, you're going to give these girls -- who are already on the precipice of obscurity and who are more likely, as contestants on noted model-making factory America's Next Top Model, to find posterity in ridiculous internet memes than success in fashion -- lessons on fame? Who would so lack dignity and refinement as to want any of their autographs?

OK, I would, but that's only because I lack dignity and refinement.

On the subject of that meet-and-greet with fans (note: I would've killed for a chance to such an event -- additional evidence of my lack of refinement), I thought that James, the guy creep who pestered Monique and then Alexandria for a kiss, would be revealed to be an actor or comedian that Tyra brought to test the girls' resolve and cool in dealing with a sweaty pervert. But no, we just saw a plain old creep.

I hadn't noticed just how tiny Mikaela was, and I also hadn't noticed how she's one unibrow away from being the spitting image of a young PJ Harvey. As it stands, though, she's actually an eerily close approximation of the Stories From the City... era Polly. So as much as I'm disappointed that this season's slutty eyecandy is gone, there's still an ANTM contestant who might conceivably channel an ancient Anglo/Celtic fertility goddess and tell Robert de Niro to sit on her face.

You definitely have very strong features and very strong bone structure, but I don't see it in the eyes.
-- Sonia Dara, Harvard girl

So, along with Mr. Jay's observation from the previous episode -- "I'm sure by now you guys obviously know that one of you is going to be America's Next Top Model, right?" -- Sonia's quotation is now in the running towards becoming America's Next Top Model's Quote of the Cycle.

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