Tuesday, November 14, 2006

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 7) - 7x07 "The Girl Who Wrecks the Car"

First, the lack of updates: I'd been on a weeklong vacation, after which I promptly got sick, the combination of which prevented me from covering the Brooke elimination episode and the recap episode. Also, the fact that the contestants are so subpar this cycle wipes away any motivation I might have to stay on top of ANTM. But I'm what you'd call a trooper -- better late than never.

This cycle has probably the least qualified contestants that ANTM has ever had. By qualified, I mean girls who actually want to become models. AJ couldn't handle going outside of her "edgy" comfort zone; Anchal didn't want to be looked at; Monique let dehydration knock her out of the competition (yes, dehydration can be serious, but I'll still blame her for not staying hydrated in the first place); and one of the twins (or maybe both, I can't keep track of them -- which one is the maybe-lesbian?) is there only because the sister's there. With such a roster of girls who are lukewarm about the show's final prize, they're less likely to open up to the camera, thus depriving me personally of desperate girls doing desperate things while being filmed. Just as importantly -- if not more so -- the girls are also submerging their personalities because they're not as into the idea of modeling (e.g. Shandis 1 and 2) -- and the lack of personality this cycle is the biggest loss.

Top Model Lateness Rankings
1. CariDee (1) -- Remains number 1 by default, really. Without a doubt, her unabashed antics are cute, but they're not necessarily indicative of higher sentience.

2. Melrose (8) -- If she even gets to the final two, she won't win because of her less-than-fresh face, but when so many of the other girls are incompetent (remember the disaster when they tried to interview Janice Dickinson?), I can't help but warm up to Melissa Rose.

3. Eugena (amorphously boring) -- At this point, I want to renumber starting at 10 or something, just because of the distance between CariDee and Melrose from the other girls, none of whom stand out particularly. Eugena ranks up here because I vaguely remember that she has diva potential (dissing the previous cycle's contestants, ironically), and also because of white liberal guilt.

4, 5. Twins (amorphously boring) -- As though they were still fused together in the indeterminate mass of boring girls, I still can't tell them apart! Nor do I want to.

6. Jaeda (9) -- At least she's not complaining about her haircut now.

Indie rating: Mogwai - "Wake Up and Go Berserk"

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