Saturday, November 18, 2006

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 7) - 7x08 "The Girl Who Breaks Down"

The judges on Top Model have always been illogically capricious, but they never bothered me because their lapses in rationality simply come with the reality tv territory. But in this episode, the judges plumbed a new low in senselessness when they questioned CariDee's ability to serve up a good commercial while speaking Catalan.

Even though they might be justified in thinking that she may have given up on the commercial (I'm speculating here), the judges doubted if she could deliver a commercial at all. I wouldn't be so chuffed if they didn't ignore the fact that (1) she rocked the silent film challenge earlier in the week, and (2) she had them in stitches with her "Hide dizzily" pantomine. Which is to say, (1) and (2) both demonstrate her expressiveness, which the judges apparently forgot (with the possible, surprising exception of Queen Arbitrary herself, Tyra). I was also stunned that they pulled the "don't rest on your laurels" advice, that they considered her Catalan experiment as a chronic character deficiency instead of a bump in the road.

Also, I'm beginning to pull for Melrose, which underscores (once again) how poor this cycle has been. Although most of the girls hate her for being a know-it-all who trashes the other girls behind their backs, they also hate her for being competent -- take the judging. Melrose brown-nosed a little bit, saying that she stayed up longer than the other girls to prepare for the commercial, which led to one of the Shandis to complain that Melrose didn't know how much effort the other girls put into the challenge. The twin's complaint was partly justified, but it also reeked of jealousy: "How dare you point out how committed you are to winning this competition and making the rest of us look like wishy-washy slackers?" So as long as the haters insist on being petty while also being useless, I'll be behind Melrose. Just don't ask me what I'll be doing there.

Top Model Behindness Rankings
1. CariDee (1) -- When she revealed that she had once attempted suicide, I couldn't help but recall when Tyra said that CariDee was maybe too desperate. I also thought back to how I questioned her sentience, which made me feel bad.

2. Melrose (2) -- Smellrose! Haha! I get it now!

3. Eugena (3) -- She inoffensively defaults to third place.

4, 5. The Shandis (4, 5) -- At this point, the only way they'll stop being boring and petty is when they get eliminated.

Indie rating: Murcof - "Ulysses"

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