Think about it. Survivor had its All Stars edition after their seventh installment, and now ANTM has completed seven cycles. What's more, one of the many problems of Cycle 7 was that most of the girls were talentless and that few of them could credibly threaten CariDee and Melrose's spots in the final two; so on the other hand, All Star models ("models") would (theoretically) provide a competitive show.
And maybe Tyra could actually give the winner what the show promises: a genuine modeling career.
My list of would-be All Stars, organized by the function that they'd serve in a(n) (All-Star) reality program:
- Elyse (Cycle 1)
- Yaya (Cycle 3) -- AKA Reverse Elyse.
- Kim (Cycle 5)
Ok, so I'm using the term "intellectual" loosely.
Girls who need the work (You: "LOL what ANTM alumna doesn't need work?")
- Shandi (Cycle 2)
- Kahlen (Cycle 4) -- Barkeeping, Kahlen? T__T
- Robin/Robynne (Cycle 1) -- Sanctimonious and old? That's what I'd call the perfect ANTM contestant. Also works (supposedly) as token "plus-size model." Two for one, because SHE'S A PLUS-SIZE oh never mind.
- Jade (Cycle 6)
Distinct from Villains, Bad Girls are had the temerity to decline the sloppy seconds that Tyra offered them, thus incurring Tyrant's wrath.
- Adrianne - An instant storyline wherein she and Tyra finally end their beef, like Tyra did with Naomi. (And about as effectively, too.)
- Tiffany - Tyra could work out her fake maternalistic impulses on Tiff.
Sounds dirty, but alas, Chaff Girls are quite mundane. Every All Star installment needs some competent but boring chaff who ultimately doesn't affect the outcome of the competition. Could also be called Robot Girls.
- Nik (Cycle 5)
- April (Cycle 2)
- Lisa (Cycle 5) -- Everyone's favorite drunk alcoholic incontinent!
- CariDee (Cycle 7)
Last but certainly not least.
- Dani(elle) (Cycle 6)
- Joanie (Cycle 6)
Indie rating: Massive Attack - "Silent Spring"