Television! You Black Emperor: So You Think You Can Dance

Danny and Anya's summarized how I felt about all of this week's perfomances; even though Nigel said that anyone who saw their waltz -- whether or not they knew a thing about dance or not (me = not) -- "they would have watched that and said, 'How beautiful,'" my mind kept moving onto more interesting things, like which celebrity at the moment was being impersonated on The Next Best Thing. Actually, I didn't have to switch channels to see a Drew Barrymore ringer who strangely enough could hoof it a little.

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While the first week held it down, week 2 offered me too many stodgy routines (read: too much ballroom) while my favorite dancers (particularly Cedric and Sara) performed below the show's haughty standards.

The opening hip-hop number with Neil and Lauren was off -- Dave Scott showed that he can ably spell Shane Sparks, and Neil was vastly more committed than he was last week. But Lauren was surprisingly stiff and all upper-body; her legs weren't into the choreography at all, and she spent too much time dancing flat-footed. Was it because of the tights she was wearing?

The jazz number by Jessi and Pasha (or to take a page from Nigel and Cat, Pasher) was well-danced, but the choreography was pretty meh, which is probably Tasty Oreo's fault.

Hok and Jaimie's samba was pretty... pretty brutal! SCREAM. (Thanks Mary, you've scarred me (with botox) forever.) I didn't bother watching Jaimie, but Hok was stiff beyond belief and slow as hell.

All three of these routines were praised by the judges, which alienated me for the rest of the show to the point that the dark horse couple -- Sabra and Dominic (who in this case would be our dork horse) -- didn't grab my attention the first time I watched them perform their contemporary. Watching it again (and hearing and reading the near-universal praise kind of gave me a clue), I liked it, but not as abashedly as I'd hoped I would if I'm really going to be a Sabra and Dom fanboy, mostly because Sabra clearly outdanced Dominic (check out his arms -- they were pretty awkward in those quiet moments when he didn't know what to do with them).

The good news is, she's wearing her hair natural again -- see what a difference it makes?

Getting back to more serious (read: important!!!) topics: even though the judges routinely call their taste levels (™ Project Runway) or intelligence (™ Mia Michaels) into question, they're indispensable and serve an important function: they tell those of us who don't know a plié from a pie in the face which dancers suck and which dancers don't. At best, judges ~~shepherd the weak through the valley of darkness~~ educate the terpsichorean ignoramuses as to what is a good performance, what is good technique, and so on. And whether or not we agree with how Nigel & Co. assess the dancers, we (and here I'm speaking of us ignoramuses) largely base our own opinions upon the judges' assessments; we'll either accept their judgments ("jidgments" in Cat Deeleyese), or we'll reject them, but whichever the case, we're taking their lead in one way or the other. They're necessary evils, like baseball umpires.

Anyway, I personally have learned a great deal from the judges, directly and otherwise. Well, my current benightedness is still an improvement on my utter illiteracy prior to the show's existence, enough to feel aesthetically knowledgeable to question how they're assessing a number of the current crop of dancers.

Other judgily conerns: when I see that they're still going backstage to ~~smoke~~ confab about whom to eliminate...

I'm disappointed that the show hasn't come up with a better way of secluding them. Because, in spite of the high production values that permeate just about the rest of the show (just imagine how much they spend on the upkeep of Mary Murphy's face), it's jarring to see them gracelessly leave the stage and head back to the rear. I found such shambling gestures/set dressing quaint on the first season of Top Model, but SYTYCD is an entirely different beast.

Dom and Sabra react to being declared safe: