Wednesday, April 27, 2005

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 4) - 4x09 "The Girls the Lionesses Are Hunting"

Pretty dumb episode. Telling them to pose like animals is going to lead to a lot of stupid pictures. But Naima still rocked hers.

Poor Michelle. As much as I didn't think she belonged, I can empathize with her total lack of self-confidence. Not to autobiographicize or anything. I was on the pop of typing "go back to school," but jipes and etc.! She doesn't need her nuts kicked in any further.

B-b-but Janice! OMG U R TEH BEST! Whatever whatever they've got her on, keep her on it! For the blessedness of her Sapphic exuberance, she deserves some kind of permanent accolade.


1. Kahlen (2) - I'm going on a limb here and invoke the nebulousness of "upside" as the main reason for Kahlen's ascent to the hypothetical top. She's been consistently hitting her assignments the past several weeks, though the biggest omission is, of course, the sexiness. She gets the hang of that -- and Kahlen, dear, give me a call -- and combined with her potential to be a more bubbly and easy-going girl and her ability to pronounce most words correctly, WHAPPOW!
2. Naima (1) - More dreaded "personality" critiques, but it definitely seems like she's topped out her potential. Of course, the non-Janice judges are probably going to overlook or even distort her emotional remoteness (relative, of course; she's not exactly Christina-bot), kind of like what they did with Yaya's remarkable, overnight attitude-adjustment in the final two.
3. Brittany (3) - I hate her. Brittany will probably knock Kahlen out at the top 3 elimination and go final two with Naima, but I'm praying that she'll get seriously sauced and do something retarded. I mean, she almost got the entire cast eaten while sober! I mean, she was sober, right?
4. Christina (4) - Too little, too late. She takes a good picture, but overall-package-wise (articulation, presence, upper lipness, the by-now trite personality quotient), she's too middle-of-the-road.
5. Keenyah (5) - Too much, too soon. The "doesn't look like a model in person" criticism, especially at this point, is a deathkiss, and with the "weight" issues, that's about the end of her.

Previous Rankings

Indie rating: Animal Collective - "We Tigers"

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