Sunday, November 06, 2005

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 5) - "The Girl Who Wants to Step on the Pretty Flower"

The biggest revelation from this recap episode was that Jayla from the start was the Villain -- which explains that guileless, sub-Macchiavellian grin when Nik was put on the spot two eliminations ago. (Though would she have appreciated Nik selling her out in front of the judges?) It's an interesting move to allow her to bloom into full Evil, probably enabled by the abundance of other villains: Cassandra, who took herself out of the competition early, and Lisa, who seems to be getting on with the girls now (though you can never tell with the way those sneaky producers edit things). So, apparently, the producers wanted to maximize the Cycle 5 bitchiness, and so they paced the reveal of Jayla's true identity.

Jayla's taste in music -- "electroclash, psychobilly and hardcore" -- is unique because none of the other girls listen to it. Then again, in 2005, nobody listens to that stuff. (Sez me who just got the new Ladytron.) But I kind of don't care -- she's too cute!

TOP MODEL TOP MOVERS AND SHAKERS (i.e. girls who came off nicer/worse than they have in the prior episodes -- these rankings have no bearing on official Power Rankings (as if my Power Rankings have any bearing on ANTM whatsoever))

1. Nicole - Hearing the voice she used for the Jayla puppet -- "When I grow up I want to be a STRIPPER!" -- was like biting into a juicy grapefruit after running a few miles in 90 degree heat. Yum! Even if she thinks that birds are blind, I'm kind of a fan of her now.
2. Kim - As much as I've been down on her before, I'll admit that she's got personality. Which I suppose is consistent with her FATNESS. Hooray harmonica!
3. Lisa - She's just weird, socially maladjusted with or without the booze. I don't know if I can hate on anyone who runs over the furniture to work out.
4. Nik/Bre - Eh, no bombshells, no withheld revelations. Get more interesting!

Previous Cycle 5 Rankings

5x07 Pin-Upness

5x05 Power Rankings
5x04 Relative Worth
5x03 Rantness
5x01 Stankness

Indie rating: Black Forest/Black Sea - "Blackbird on Grey Sky"

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