Monday, November 21, 2005

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 5) - 5x09 "The Girl Who Talks Behind Everyone's Back"

For those of you who like to keep track, the entry on ANTM is a lot late this week due to me getting my act together -- i.e. not waiting until the last second to rush my transcripts and applications for GRADUATE SCHOOL. Yes, I'm diving headlong into that hell again, because the real world sucks. The Real World also is not that fancy.

Back to Top Model. With Lisa's baffling elimination, it becomes increasingly harder to confidently forecast the ranks of the remaining girls.

I'm kidding, my rankings aren't going to change because I'm stubbornly refusing to accept Kim's sudden modelness on account of her total ineptitude earlier in the season? She's hardly versatile is why, I suppose. Also, I'm not budging on Nik, even though she has become too "safe" and dependent on her favorite curvy pose.

I don't think I'm as invested now in any of the girls as I was in Cycle 4 at this same point. A quick rundown of last year: Kahlen whom I crushed on; Michelle who was a fascinating trainwreck; Britney and Keenyah who developed into such fantastically heelish divas.

Cycle 5, on the other hand, doesn't offer similar roles. By eliminating Lisa, the show killed off their most compelling villain, the bad girl who stood the best chance of winning and therefore gave the show its tension. That's why Jayla isn't going to be a good replacement villain -- it's become clear that she's not going to pose much of a threat to win, so there's little tension there. On the flip-side, Nicole might have been a crushable heroine, except that like Jayla, she's got little chance of winning, so it's harder to pull for her (EUPHEMISM ALERT). And Nik is, I admit, boring, so there's no crush there aside from her booty.

And Kim's obnoxious, and I'm rambling.

1. Bre (2) - She's got a silky presence, but I still find her photos underwhelming. However, she's getting a LOT of candid time with the camera. You could say that she is the spokesperson of America's Next Top Model, if you catch my drift.
2. Nik (1) - BOOTY!
3. Kim (4) - Lack of versatility? She's got the LOOK of a model now, apparently.
4. Nicole (6) - I love her teeth! But the only way she was going to crack the top four was if Lisa got the boot.
5. Jayla (5) - Bre complained about someone who thought it'd be "cute to pass gas" in the phonebooth. To which I say: The return of JAYLA THE SILENT BUT DEADLY! But not for long!

Previous Cycle 5 Rankings

5x05 Power Rankings
5x04 Relative Worth
5x03 Rantness
5x01 Stankness

Indie rating: Cat Power - "Where is my Love"

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