Sunday, December 04, 2005

America's Next Top Model (Cycle 5) - 5x11 "The Girl Who Takes A Pill"

I hope that I wasn't the only one mildly disappointed that there wasn't a Benadrylgate to follow the the double-headed Red Bull/Granolagate. The rest of the girls were probably tired of all the petty drama, but the relative harmony that ensued clearly sapped this episode of interest. And as a result, I'm having a lot of difficulty coming up with anything to say, interesting or not.

I'll just settle for not.

TOP MODEL PILLNESS RANKING
1. Nik (1) - Actually, maybe I do have something to say, courtesy of UPN's summary of this episode. Nigel apparently "still wonders if [Nik] has something special to offer beyond simply taking a gorgeous picture." In light of this NYT article, Nigel's comment reveals the show's preoccupation with creating more-than-models who can generate their own celebrity, i.e. supermodels. As that Times piece explains, ANTM is somewhat disingenuous in its efforts to make its eventual Top Models into supermodels. Now, beyond the obstacles cited in the article that prevent Americans (and by extension, ANTM winners) from dominating the modeling industry, the celebrity factor becomes a problem on Top Model with regards to personality. No amount of alchemical genius from Tyra and friends can graft personality onto the soon-to-be-winner, Nik. In fact, in the history of the show, only one contestant had the character to become anything approaching a celebrity, and she didn't even win.
Ok, I don't know if I had a real point there, except maybe to link to Elyse's site yet again.
2. Nicole (2) - Honestly, I think the only reason she stood out in her picture is because she's vampire-pale. That and her teeth. I'm sure Bre's going to manage a prettier picture next week, which would MAKE ME THE SAD. ~*tear*~
3. Bre (3) - BE BITCHIER. She was disappointingly sane this episode, a problem Top Model wouldn't have if Lisa were still around.

Previous Cycle 5 Rankings
5x10 Retaliatory
5x09 Baby-Got-Backness
5x08 Pissness
5x07 Pin-Upness

5x06 Bubbleness
5x05 Power Rankings
5x04 Relative Worth
5x03 Rantness
5x01 Stankness

Indie rating: Mogwai - "Boring Machines Disturbs Sleep"

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